Saturday, April 5th 2008
A Clearing Of The Air
(4/5/2008) And now, some healing that is a long time in coming, as well as an apology from me for some prior behavior.
I had a meeting with John Shoberg , the head of the new science fiction convention OSFEST. John’s been working hard to get his event off the ground (with the help of some pretty damn ambitious folks), and has overcome a number of obstacles to do it. They have been promoting OSFEST like crazy and as time comes closer to their opening day, things are getting a little tense. On Saturday, I received an e-mail (cryptically entitled “We Need To Talk”) that addressed this.
Some time ago, in order to promote their event, John posted some info to the OSFEST blog about my appearance there. He was trying to let people know who was there to talk to, and did a bang-up job with it.
However, by stating this, it caused a fervor in a small Yahoo!Groups dedicated to Lincoln’s oldest s-f club, Starbase Andromeda. Words were exchanged, and it started having all the makings of a boycott of OSFEST over my appearance there. John was apparently unaware of the issues that a few Lincoln s-f fans have with Omaha fandom up to this point, so they told him. John did the unthinkable: he printed off the e-mails and brought them to me to discuss.
Honestly, I had reservations when John invited me to OSFEST. I love s-f in all its forms; it’s the first fandom I experienced as a young teen. However, the history of conventions in Omaha during the 90’s ended up killing a lot of that love, and I quietly retired from them rather than becoming too bitter. John’s invite was both a wonderful compliment and a wary caution for me because I knew that eventually I would run into some of the people I had to deal with back in the day. I knew it wouldn’t be long before some hold outs would start talking about events that happened nearly 12 years ago. I knew that I would probably have to take a pass on OSFEST for the convention’s best interest.
So … John and I met, and I started the conversation with ”So tell me what’s up that I can’t go to OSFEST?” I said with a smirk. I fully was expecting to be asked to leave. Instead, John did something I hadn’t heard from a s-f fan in a long time.
He told me that not only does he still wants me there, but he wants to help resolve the situation if at all possible.
THAT I wasn’t expecting. I had no defense against an honest discussion without anger or accusation. It was then that my respect for John went up ten fold because in all of this time since the early days of ConCussion planning, only John had the balls to ask me what happened. We talked for an hour, and in that hour it became clear that in all of this time, I was more than ready to extend an olive branch.
SHORT SYNOPSIS: Back in 1995-96, a group of former convention organizers and myself were asked to be a part of an event called ConCussion. It was to be a collaborative effort amongst the various con organizers to pool their previous convention organizing skills produce a single convention. The idea was that instead of everyone competing against each other for the dwindling fanbase we all would try to work together. At first, we were highly involved as we were asked by Starbase Andromeda leader Agris Taurins to come and help. We were excited because we liked him and his group a lot. However, within a few months, the organization was jostled up to include a former s-f group (The Lincoln Science Fiction Society). As explained to us by Agris, his group and the LSFS were having some small squabbles, and he wanted to include them to help unite local fandom. It was the logical thing to do. With the inclusion, however, the former collaborative atmosphere broke down due to requests and demands from the LSFS. Further, changes in the organization chart were instigated to form a “triumvirate” of heads for ConCussion without committee input or opinion. With this change, the only group running anything was the LSFS, and my friends left feeling discouraged and “sold out” in order for Starbase Andromeda & LSFS to get along. Both Lincoln groups continued with their planning on ConCussion.
ConCussion had an unspectacular run. It failed to become profitable and disappeared. This had nothing to do with our absence; the fanbase was changing and it was not what it was back in the days when Omacon and ConTreTemps were around.
Once the convention had passed, I wrote in one of my online journal entries my experiences working on this convention. As I was still very hurt and very, very angry about the whole situation, and I did the unthinkable; I took some personal potshots and shot venom in a public forum about the way it was handled and how we were treated. Nobody should ever have been treated in this fashion. I did this and for that I do apologize for the following:
APOLOGIES
AGRIS : I went on a tear in my anger about you guys in my journal, and I am very sorry for that. Of all folks involved in this mess you and Dianne were the most sincere and the most concerned that s-f fandom have a good place to gather. I got pretty angry about your decisions, Agris, and while I still do not think you made a good choice in deciding on the “triumvirate” without the rest of the committee involved, I do understand you were trying to “herd cats” in getting all of us to play nice together. You had to make many tough calls in the time you did ConCussion, Agris and I am not certain I would have done any better in your place. I am sorry and hope you will accept my apology.
DIANNE: John showed me one of the e-mails you sent in regards to OSFEST and my attendance there. I can confirm that I can indeed be “a big fucking baby” when i want to be, just like anyone else. I can stomp and whine and scream with the best of them. It wasn’t this nor your recollections of what was actually in my journal that bother me, because in truth it’s been a damned long time since those days. What bothered me truly was the implication that I was attacking your boy, Hunter. That shocked me. Hunter was one of the few bright spots from those days and as I mentioned him in my journal, I was trying to get across the idea that this little crude drawing of a dragon he did for me meant an awful lot to me. Searching through that entry i found only one spot where your boy was mentioned by name. I quote it below:
"I have this picture of a dragon that was crudely drawn by a child from about 7-8 years ago. It's on some yellow notepad paper and has the words "for Fredd from Hunter" crudely written on it . I pinned it to the wall of my studio way back in 1994, and it has remained there for the most part. The reasons for it being there have changed of the years, though, as it's meaning has taken on other aspects i really wish it had not. It was given to me by him as a gesture of friendship that i shared with him and his family... but these days, it stands as a reminder of how fleeting friendships in fandom can be, and how fans can not be trusted any more than your average member of the general populace. It stands so that i do not forget."
It was the first time any child drew me a picture at a convention. I was very touched. I was horrified that you took with you any sort of idea that I was accosting him. I wasn’t trying to attack him, but I can see where you got that idea. I am sorry for this misunderstanding.
Also, the other remark I found to be troubling in your e-mail was the one where you thought that i was somehow insulting your artwork. I re-checked the journal entry, and no where did I ever insult your talent. EVER. In fact, all i could find in that entry that even mentions your art was the following:
"... i get the random e-mail from Diane Taurins, telling me about her life in brief, showing me her latest Adrian Paul drawing and what not. each time i actually reply i get these short one or two word answers, which pretty much sums (our relationship) up for me."
You are an incredible artist and do some of the best portrait work that I have ever seen. I have always been impressed with your work and wish my skills at capturing people were so brilliant. If you seriously thought I was insulting you, please accept my apology.
As for your recollection of things … well all I can say is that it has been a long time and I can hardly blame you for not remembering everything in detail. I had a hard time originally pinning down those memories of the ConCussion days without some help from my wife and a few friends involved, I am sorry for the hassle.
STARBASE ANDROMEDA: In truth, you guys have always been an impressive group. I wish we had a group like you in Omaha. If I offended you, please accept my apology. What little I knew of your group came from the two Andromeda conventions I attended in Lincoln, which I still say to this day was one of the best conventions I had ever attended.
JOHN SHOBERG: When you said you wanted artwork from me, I did intend on getting you some. When you came to one of the Artist Jams asking for someone to do it, I thought you didn’t want it from me per sec, but from anyone who would to do it. I was confused and then promptly forgot it. I do not go back on a deal either, John, so in addition to me raising money for OSFEST at my table I will be donating some artwork to the con via the Art Show. Whatever comes in from that piece of art is OSFEST’s. As I stated before, my intent is to do sketches to raise money for both OSFEST and one of my charities. I still plan on doing it. In the years since the Concussion event, i stopped making money for myself with my convention sketches. These days i donate all of the profits to either the convention i am attending or to one of two charities i support. I figured that instead of being part of the problem i would be part of a solution. I have never regretted this decision.
...AND FINALLY ...
For my part, it is done. I have removed that dreadful entry from my website, and will hope that i am not the only one who has moved on from that silly time. If there is still an issue, it is definitely not my problem. I let it go long ago. So should you.
A Clearing Of The Air
(4/5/2008) And now, some healing that is a long time in coming, as well as an apology from me for some prior behavior.
I had a meeting with John Shoberg , the head of the new science fiction convention OSFEST. John’s been working hard to get his event off the ground (with the help of some pretty damn ambitious folks), and has overcome a number of obstacles to do it. They have been promoting OSFEST like crazy and as time comes closer to their opening day, things are getting a little tense. On Saturday, I received an e-mail (cryptically entitled “We Need To Talk”) that addressed this.
Some time ago, in order to promote their event, John posted some info to the OSFEST blog about my appearance there. He was trying to let people know who was there to talk to, and did a bang-up job with it.
However, by stating this, it caused a fervor in a small Yahoo!Groups dedicated to Lincoln’s oldest s-f club, Starbase Andromeda. Words were exchanged, and it started having all the makings of a boycott of OSFEST over my appearance there. John was apparently unaware of the issues that a few Lincoln s-f fans have with Omaha fandom up to this point, so they told him. John did the unthinkable: he printed off the e-mails and brought them to me to discuss.
Honestly, I had reservations when John invited me to OSFEST. I love s-f in all its forms; it’s the first fandom I experienced as a young teen. However, the history of conventions in Omaha during the 90’s ended up killing a lot of that love, and I quietly retired from them rather than becoming too bitter. John’s invite was both a wonderful compliment and a wary caution for me because I knew that eventually I would run into some of the people I had to deal with back in the day. I knew it wouldn’t be long before some hold outs would start talking about events that happened nearly 12 years ago. I knew that I would probably have to take a pass on OSFEST for the convention’s best interest.
So … John and I met, and I started the conversation with ”So tell me what’s up that I can’t go to OSFEST?” I said with a smirk. I fully was expecting to be asked to leave. Instead, John did something I hadn’t heard from a s-f fan in a long time.
He told me that not only does he still wants me there, but he wants to help resolve the situation if at all possible.
THAT I wasn’t expecting. I had no defense against an honest discussion without anger or accusation. It was then that my respect for John went up ten fold because in all of this time since the early days of ConCussion planning, only John had the balls to ask me what happened. We talked for an hour, and in that hour it became clear that in all of this time, I was more than ready to extend an olive branch.
SHORT SYNOPSIS: Back in 1995-96, a group of former convention organizers and myself were asked to be a part of an event called ConCussion. It was to be a collaborative effort amongst the various con organizers to pool their previous convention organizing skills produce a single convention. The idea was that instead of everyone competing against each other for the dwindling fanbase we all would try to work together. At first, we were highly involved as we were asked by Starbase Andromeda leader Agris Taurins to come and help. We were excited because we liked him and his group a lot. However, within a few months, the organization was jostled up to include a former s-f group (The Lincoln Science Fiction Society). As explained to us by Agris, his group and the LSFS were having some small squabbles, and he wanted to include them to help unite local fandom. It was the logical thing to do. With the inclusion, however, the former collaborative atmosphere broke down due to requests and demands from the LSFS. Further, changes in the organization chart were instigated to form a “triumvirate” of heads for ConCussion without committee input or opinion. With this change, the only group running anything was the LSFS, and my friends left feeling discouraged and “sold out” in order for Starbase Andromeda & LSFS to get along. Both Lincoln groups continued with their planning on ConCussion.
ConCussion had an unspectacular run. It failed to become profitable and disappeared. This had nothing to do with our absence; the fanbase was changing and it was not what it was back in the days when Omacon and ConTreTemps were around.
Once the convention had passed, I wrote in one of my online journal entries my experiences working on this convention. As I was still very hurt and very, very angry about the whole situation, and I did the unthinkable; I took some personal potshots and shot venom in a public forum about the way it was handled and how we were treated. Nobody should ever have been treated in this fashion. I did this and for that I do apologize for the following:
APOLOGIES
AGRIS : I went on a tear in my anger about you guys in my journal, and I am very sorry for that. Of all folks involved in this mess you and Dianne were the most sincere and the most concerned that s-f fandom have a good place to gather. I got pretty angry about your decisions, Agris, and while I still do not think you made a good choice in deciding on the “triumvirate” without the rest of the committee involved, I do understand you were trying to “herd cats” in getting all of us to play nice together. You had to make many tough calls in the time you did ConCussion, Agris and I am not certain I would have done any better in your place. I am sorry and hope you will accept my apology.
DIANNE: John showed me one of the e-mails you sent in regards to OSFEST and my attendance there. I can confirm that I can indeed be “a big fucking baby” when i want to be, just like anyone else. I can stomp and whine and scream with the best of them. It wasn’t this nor your recollections of what was actually in my journal that bother me, because in truth it’s been a damned long time since those days. What bothered me truly was the implication that I was attacking your boy, Hunter. That shocked me. Hunter was one of the few bright spots from those days and as I mentioned him in my journal, I was trying to get across the idea that this little crude drawing of a dragon he did for me meant an awful lot to me. Searching through that entry i found only one spot where your boy was mentioned by name. I quote it below:
"I have this picture of a dragon that was crudely drawn by a child from about 7-8 years ago. It's on some yellow notepad paper and has the words "for Fredd from Hunter" crudely written on it . I pinned it to the wall of my studio way back in 1994, and it has remained there for the most part. The reasons for it being there have changed of the years, though, as it's meaning has taken on other aspects i really wish it had not. It was given to me by him as a gesture of friendship that i shared with him and his family... but these days, it stands as a reminder of how fleeting friendships in fandom can be, and how fans can not be trusted any more than your average member of the general populace. It stands so that i do not forget."
It was the first time any child drew me a picture at a convention. I was very touched. I was horrified that you took with you any sort of idea that I was accosting him. I wasn’t trying to attack him, but I can see where you got that idea. I am sorry for this misunderstanding.
Also, the other remark I found to be troubling in your e-mail was the one where you thought that i was somehow insulting your artwork. I re-checked the journal entry, and no where did I ever insult your talent. EVER. In fact, all i could find in that entry that even mentions your art was the following:
"... i get the random e-mail from Diane Taurins, telling me about her life in brief, showing me her latest Adrian Paul drawing and what not. each time i actually reply i get these short one or two word answers, which pretty much sums (our relationship) up for me."
You are an incredible artist and do some of the best portrait work that I have ever seen. I have always been impressed with your work and wish my skills at capturing people were so brilliant. If you seriously thought I was insulting you, please accept my apology.
As for your recollection of things … well all I can say is that it has been a long time and I can hardly blame you for not remembering everything in detail. I had a hard time originally pinning down those memories of the ConCussion days without some help from my wife and a few friends involved, I am sorry for the hassle.
STARBASE ANDROMEDA: In truth, you guys have always been an impressive group. I wish we had a group like you in Omaha. If I offended you, please accept my apology. What little I knew of your group came from the two Andromeda conventions I attended in Lincoln, which I still say to this day was one of the best conventions I had ever attended.
JOHN SHOBERG: When you said you wanted artwork from me, I did intend on getting you some. When you came to one of the Artist Jams asking for someone to do it, I thought you didn’t want it from me per sec, but from anyone who would to do it. I was confused and then promptly forgot it. I do not go back on a deal either, John, so in addition to me raising money for OSFEST at my table I will be donating some artwork to the con via the Art Show. Whatever comes in from that piece of art is OSFEST’s. As I stated before, my intent is to do sketches to raise money for both OSFEST and one of my charities. I still plan on doing it. In the years since the Concussion event, i stopped making money for myself with my convention sketches. These days i donate all of the profits to either the convention i am attending or to one of two charities i support. I figured that instead of being part of the problem i would be part of a solution. I have never regretted this decision.
...AND FINALLY ...
For my part, it is done. I have removed that dreadful entry from my website, and will hope that i am not the only one who has moved on from that silly time. If there is still an issue, it is definitely not my problem. I let it go long ago. So should you.